Thankfully my chemotherapy is a pill, so I can take it at home. The routine is set so that I take 3-4 pills every night before bed for 5 nights in a row. Then have 23 days off, and start again.
This round was delayed by 1 day because my platelets were too low (side effect from my first round. They thankfully rebounded within a few days and so it was Game ON this week!
During my first cycle of chemo I was extremely tired– I took 4 hour naps. That week floated by in a haze of sleepiness. When it was over, I felt so awake! I started to make to-do lists with check boxes and was crossing everything off without abandon. All the errands I could think of got done– random stuff like donating one sweater, and getting my bike tuned up– it all got DONE.
I saved watching the final season of Bosch for this chemo week. If you haven’t heard of Bosch, it’s a detective show on Amazon Prime– and I like it because he gets to the bottom of the problem and solves it no matter what– which inspires me to attack my cancer with the same passion. BOOM, bad guys, BOOM. It’s based on a series of books which I’ve heard are also great, but I haven’t read them.
Anyway– I had the full final season waiting for me and… I watched it in one day. I’m not usually glued to the TV like that, but it was a nice distraction from everything else. Taking chemo is a solid tangible reminder that there’s something very wrong going on– and for the days I am taking it, sometimes it’s nice to ignore that– especially because the chemo leaves you too tired to do anything about it. After a few days, you hit a level of NEED-TO-SLEEP-NOW fatigue, and even when you aren’t quite there yet, you still are feeling slow in every way. Walking slow, thinking slow… it took me 4 days to write this short blog post.
I know I’m only in my second round of chemo, but so far each round there has been a moment of feeling total whiny self-pitty. All the thoughts of WTF come plowing in, at the exact moment I’m too tired to fight them off. It sucks–I hate feeling that way. Luckily it doesn’t last long and I can work my way through it… Yes, this is terrible, but so many things in life can be terrible… and this could be worse… and I– just like freakin’ Bosch–am going to figure out a way to get to the bottom of this BS and figure this all out.